Lankan Moms vs Technology

(In honour of Mother’s Day) 

Our mothers are truly amazing. They successfully gave birth to us and managed to keep us alive for so long. They taught us everything we know and fixed things for us. But if there’s one hurdle they constantly stumble on, it’s technology. 

Here are a few hilarious things Lankan moms do.


Using their forefinger only


Our moms may have mastered many things, but one thing they are still unable to grasp is the notion that, yes, you can use more than the ONE forefinger when using touch screen phones. They may have long graduated from the sturdy Nokia to a fancy new touch screen, but old habits die hard, and this habit shows no signs of slowing down.


Forwards


Forwards are the bane of our existence. And should be that of your mom’s too, but don’t try telling her that. Should, God forbid, a message include the lines “forward to 20 people if you want to go to heaven”, you can bet on your own life (not on your mom’s life though, because she will beat your sorry posterior with the broom, obviously), she will forward it to you, and insist you do the same. Because your “wal” behaviour and your dressing like a lady of the night ain’t getting you to heaven, Putha. Ditto hoax text messages. 


Taking pictures


Your mom will happily oblige if you ask her to take a picture. In fact, she’ll be ecstatic. But you probably shouldn’t ask her, unless you want to your camera roll full of at least 20 blurred out pics. The photos will also include subjects mid blink and photobombers galore. You’ll also find yourself “posing” for no less than 5 minutes, while your mom angles the camera, zooms in and out, accidentally turns the camera off. Meanwhile, your genuine smiles have now turned fake and forced and your initial supermodel pose now comically distorted.


Clickbait & Scams


When it comes to matters of the internet, colour your mom gullible. “Click to win free iPad” - Of course our mom’s going to click on it, especially because we all know how much us Lankans love our freebies. This happens on all platforms including YouTube. Our Moms love YouTube. Once they’ve been properly initiated, learnt the basics, and followed all the necessary channels, they’re unstoppable. Before long, she will click on every single video that promises to share juicy celeb gossip or some other Godforsaken tripe. But of course, mommy dearest is soon outraged when she realises it was all a big fat lie. 


Acronyms

There are standard acronyms and then there are momcronyms (OK - we just may have totally made that word up). LOL (Laugh Out Loud), WYD (What You Doing?) are all good and universally acknowledged, but looks like mom missed the memo when they said you can’t just up and create acronyms as an when you please, according to your whims and fancies. 


 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Rihaab Mowlana

Foodie • Bona-fide expert on Harry Potter universe • proud Slytherin • Unapologetic know-it-all • Keyboard warrior • Occasionally sarcastic • Incessant retweeter • Self proclaimed funny girl • twitter.com/ReeMowlana

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