This curious game of parenting we find ourselves in, can be both mind boggling and exceedingly fulfilling. As a parent we can never get it right and our evolution is ongoing. Learning from each child, our parenting styles change as they meld and mould. Therefore it goes without saying that we must not be static in our thoughts and beliefs and accept the necessary changes in our parenting when it is due.
Constantly in need for revision, here are a few tips of advise on average parenting versus successful parenting:
1. An average parent feels that they need to spend all their time with the children, thus not leaving any time for themselves. Easily burnt out, parenting can become a chore rather than a privilege. Whilst a parent who engages in time for self, takes time out to pursue a hobby, a talent, takes care of themselves, shows a child that it is important to have balances in life. Also by taking care of themselves they are also a more happier parent.
2. Children never listen and are constantly misbehaving. Our first reaction might be to offer punishments to bad behaviour. This is not always the answer, yes the child has misbehaved and repeatedly, find out what the problem is before ultimatums are dished out.
3. In parenting we do all for our children to the extent that we solve all their problems. Yes the child is momentarily happy, but in the long run they are once again stuck for a solution. Teach them to search for answers by themselves, guide and protect along the way.
4. We all want our children to do well, and we sometimes fall into the habit of comparing them to other more successful children. This is the quickest way for the child to rebel against the eventual successful outcome rather than achieve it. They are upset about your preferences and rather than be better they will fight it. Allow your children to be themselves, celebrate their uniqueness and their successes will shine through.
5. Children are our most precious commodities, therefore we are quick to protect them before any problem comes their way. As difficult as it is, sometimes we do need our children to fail so that they know to pick themselves up and face the problem head on. This is an important lesson for the future.
Once you're a parent, you will continue to be one till your end. In the beginning, there is a lot of work to be done moulding our children into perfection. But in your later years you can enjoy the fruits of your labour as your children become the successes that they are.