In most relationships there is a Romantic who loves big gestures and surprises and a Realist who is the more responsible and practical one. We are not assuming it is true in every case as there can be a mix in some. So we spoke to 3 couples who are in different stages of their relationship.
Meet Alison and Pravinth Deepan who have been together for almost 15 years and married for 14 with 2 beautiful children! Ken and Juliann Lappen, who are newlyweds and together for 2 years and 1 month to be exact, as they said o. May I also add that they are parents to many adorable pets! And Amanda Lappen and Vishan Fernando who have been together for 1 and ½ years, who are two talented and creative individuals. So we asked them a bunch of questions to figure out how they have made it work.
Where did you meet each other? And who would you say had a crush on the other first?
Alison and Pravinth: We met at office. I think it was mutual but I am sure Ali had a crush on me first!
Ken and Juliann: We became friends through Facebook and then started dating!
Amanda and Vishan: We met at church. I had a crush on him first and then after sometime we both started messaging each other and turned out that both of us liked each other and we were getting to know each other more.
Who asked whom out first? And how?
Alison and Pravinth: It was friendship at first but it developed into a relationship.
Juliann: So, Ken sent me a Facebook request on the 14th of November 2014 and started messaging me. He was in a band and they were performing at the Arcade Independence Square on the 29th of November. He wanted me to come for it but I didn’t go. After two weeks he said “Hi” again and we started sharing details and we realized that this was something special. This was the 1st of December 2014. Then by the 4th of December 2014 we were in love. (I know, that’s fast!) So we met on the 5th of December 2014. He picked me up that evening and made sure that he had roses. We expressed our love that day and then we met each other’s parents on the 7th of December 2014 and made sure we had their blessings. After 3 months in March he proposed and we got married on the 13th of June 2015!
Amanda and Vishan: We were dying to go out with each other and were so in love. We got so close to each other, so I was waiting for him to ask me out. Finally he did! Through a simple and heartwarming phone call which changed my entire life.
Alison, Pravinth and their children
How do you usually celebrate Valentine’s Day?
Alison and Pravinth: We believe if we love each other it has to be shown on a daily basis, with small gestures. Not only on a special occasion. Doing something big on a special day, compared to doing something small daily has a bigger effect on the one you love and care for.
Juliann: We usually don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day. Ken is a very romantic and loving guy and he makes sure that it's like Valentine's Day every single day.
Amanda: This is our second Valentine's Day and last year we celebrated Valentine's Day by going to watch Deadpool, which was awesome by the way and then for an amazing lunch date which was extremely fun and he surprised me with a bouquet of roses.
Who remembers the anniversaries or special days?
Alison and Pravinth: Both of us, I guess.
Juliann: We are both good at this. The only difference is that Ken remembers it when the dates are really close.
Amanda: Usually, I am the one who remembers special days, and when I wish him he pretends that he already knew it.
Was there a proposal? (seems to be a popular and recent trend)
Pravinth: No, I didn’t.
Juliann: Yes, he did. It was three months after we started dating as I told you before and it was on my birthday. He surprised me at midnight with an engagement ring, roses, and a yummy McDonald's burger. He also composed a song for me named as “Mint, art, fragrance”. That was an amazing, memorable day.
Amanda and Vishan
Who handles the finances?
Pravinth: Ali handles the finances but when it comes to spending, we both don't hold back!
Juliann: I give all the credit to Ken on this. He is really good at managing finances.
What is a usual date for you two? Who plans it out?
Pravinth: I normally plan it out and choose the location as I am a little fussy when it comes to food.
Juliann: A usual date would be having pizza at home watching How I Met Your Mother or a movie and having a good laugh. When it comes to dates, Ken always plans it. And we both prefer having cheesecake and coffee after dinner.
Amanda and Vishan: Every day is like a date for us because we hang out with each other most of the time but we have our special dates as well where we go out for a dinner or lunch date and enjoy eating a lot especially cheesecake. I plan out the special dates to places we love to eat at. Our dates are fun, as he makes me laugh a lot and annoys me at the same time with his dramatic jokes and I annoy him a lot by taking selfies. (Which is more than an average number of selfies)
Who likes stability and who lives on the edge?
Pravinth: I live on the edge and Ali is more of a stable person.
Ken and Juliann: Both of us love stability. Even before we were married, we planned every single detail of our lives. And it has continued that way up to date.
Amanda: I like to be stable and organized and have everything in order but Vishan is a person who always takes risks and wants to try out new stuff.
Ken and Juliann
Who likes surprises and who doesn’t?
Alison and Pravinth: We both love surprises, who doesn't love a bit of surprise?
Juliann: I love surprises, and Ken is really good at planning them. Ken on the other hand is not a fan. The reason being that he doesn’t know how to react to it. (He puts on his fake surprised face most of the time!)
Amanda: I like being surprised and Vishan hates surprises because he doesn't like to be the center of attention.
Who is the fun parent and who is the responsible one? (Pets included!)
Alison and Pravinth: We both are, we play hide and seek with the kids. Sometimes Ali is stricter with the kids than I am.
Juliann: We are currently parenting 3 cats and 2 dogs. Ken is the fun parent who would do the fun and silly stuff with them. I am the responsible one who makes sure they are fed and groomed on time.
Who is the social one and the antisocial one?
Pravinth: I am the social one and Ali doesn't like it as much.
Juliann: We are both social to an extent. But mostly, we prefer hanging out with each other and with people that we are really comfortable being around with.
Amanda: I am outgoing and love to hang out with friends most of the time, and I also love to take pictures and have fun but Vishan likes to spend more time in his design studio.
Who is the romantic and who is the realist?
Alison and Pravinth: We are both realists. We believe love is a partnership more than just a sentimental relationship, it's more of being there for each other, taking the equal responsibilities when it comes to the kids, house duties and everything that involves the family.
Juliann: We are both romantics. And we have our own unique ways of showing it. We make sure that we give each other 100% of pure love, trust and honesty and hold back nothing.
Amanda: We both have our romantic times as well as our realistic times. Vishan is very romantic when it comes to stuff like surprising me. Last year, he came at 12:00AM to surprise me on my birthday with flowers and goodies and I did the same. We both are realistic when it comes to certain things.