If you think that being single in the land of Sri Lanka is a challenge, then you might find that being a couple is similar to walking around with two CCTVs permanently strapped to your head. It's bad enough that there's a severe lack of men who own a decent wardrobe that extends beyond ‘Waves' flip-flops and know how to respond to texts without an ‘LOL' at the end of every sentence, it's just as hard to keep them trapped – I mean, interested.
Aside from hiding your slight Borderline Personality Disorder until he is completely smitten, Sri Lankan girls (and some guys) have to cope with severe pressure assailed by several types of people and circumstances listed below:
1.) To Wed or Not to Wed
Even if you two are completely happy to take time in deciding where your relationship is headed, the social pressure gets to you. It's bad enough they badgered you into a cake-induced coma with their repeated questions when you were single about when you were ‘going to settle down'. Now, they make it their personal mission to bully you into getting an express wedding invitation.
2.) Fiends in Disguise
The pseudo-friends' masks come undone when their tongues start wagging. They can't wait to judge him, querying him on his profession, star sign, and time of birth with the vigour of a local soothsayer.
3.) High Parental Expectations
Does your mother’s ‘ultimate’ fantasy include your nuptials with a Govi-caste, BMW-driving doctor who also happens to have a permanent residency in Australia? You’re not the only one. It’s hard to explain why you’ve chosen anything less. Imagine having to justify a piercing or a tattoo – good luck!
For a guy, their mothers envision a Florence Nightingale-esque virgin who will conveniently chuck their job to be a maid around the clock, making lavariya and endless cups of ginger tea.
4.) He has High Expectations
Or, should I say ‘Big, Round, and Botox-filled Expectations'? He is one of those guys who fall into the category of male populace who watches copious amounts of porn and has very misguided expectations. Their reality includes vital stats that measure 60:24:55, rather than the modest figures Lankan lasses are known for.
5.) Dating is Expensive:
Unlike in the west, Sri Lanka is not endowed with parks for recreation; for others whose definition of recreation is a synonym for heavy-petting, Viharamadevi is your hub. Because of this, many couples are forced to seek refuge in the closest Barista or Coffee Bean easily spending Rs. 1,500 just to sit comfortably to have a conversation. Goodbye, Salary!
6.) Death Threats:
Then there's the Ex. He, with his association with the former regime, fancies himself a thug. This wanna-be Rambo threatens to send white vans and a few of his accomplices to your residence to ‘destroy' your partner and set fire to your house. He didn't want you while you were his, and cannot bear the sight of your new-found happiness. As media dictates, go ahead and try anyway.
7.) The Judges:
You can be in any situation, walking down the road, in a tuk-tuk, at dinner, clothed, behaving appropriately, but don't you worry, the stares will keep coming. If a bubble were to form above their heads, you will note, ‘Is this the legitimate man?', ‘Is this the hora catch?' ‘Are they serious?', or ‘Is her hand where it shouldn't be?' forming. Their Sri Lankan instincts egg their curiosity wanting to know.
So, if you think that being single is difficult, here’s proof that you’re very wrong! It's no wonder couples squabble all the time given all this external pressure. I wish there was a manual that told couples how to answer to Sri Lankan curiosity, optimism, and expectations like they do with algebra.
What are your experiences with ‘Challenges Every Sri Lankan Couple Faces’?
Let me know in the comments and don't forget to click on ‘share' to send this read to your squad.
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By Ms Confidential