Recently, I was going through my Facebook feed and I caught sight of a very good-looking female colleague. Like many, she tirelessly uploads stunning pictures of herself with quick succession and has a flood of ‘likes’ that may put the Kardashian-Jenner clan to shame. Naturally, I like her picture – and the eleven others that look exactly the same except for the 0.5-degree change in her head.
What caught my attention were the comments and reactions from others – she had over 300 likes, but the concern was that many of them were from colleagues and friends I knew were ‘committed’ or married. There were reactions of hearts from men whom I knew for certain were not hers but were fathers of ten-year-olds. The photos weren’t slutty/trashy - just a very pretty girl. I stalked her – and the trend didn’t end there.
I was stumped. Wasn’t that a form of… cheating?
I have issued a friendly ‘warning’ of sorts to The Boyfriend about conducting a circumcision sans an anesthetic if he was to ‘friend’ some female beings on Facebook, but this is really disconcerting. It raised some real questions on fidelity in me. It questioned what I knew and believed in. Why would a married guy like another girl’s cleavage-bearing photo? Why is he even ‘friends’ on Facebook? Does he like his own wives pictures that way? Why are cupcakes round?
It could be that my thinking is conventional; maybe the world was okay with that kind of thing and I hadn’t caught on. I thought I’d share my opinion on what I believe is cheating – redefined.
1. BFF - Best Female Friend:
Having a female best friend when in a relationship is excellent so as long as the person is also your girlfriend. Somehow, I don’t understand how these two pivotal roles can be played by two separate people. Guys just have to find an all-in-one package; if not he would need to rethink his decision to be with someone who is like pizza without the herbs.
Nope. Not the Chinese ones. Having your Exes on social media or as friends whom you have constant communication for me is ghastly. There’s a reason why toilets flush.
3. Miss. Add-a-belle:
As long as you are present on social media, you will have a flood of requests to be poked, followed, stalked, and friended. Normally, if it was real life, none of the above would be permitted. You will end up behind bars or a restraining order if the local police keep up with CSI lingo. However, we seem to be okay with making contact with people who inbox us while we are in a relationship. Replying anonymous texts or WhatsApp messages and continuing a conversation if you think they are cute. #Block
4. The Crowning Jewels:
With the above, I would opine that adding unknown people on social media while in a relationship is a bit… off. It’s different if you know them. If you’re a guy and you value your ‘three jewels’ being intact, don’t add girls whom you know have the hots for you. Calm your ego if you value your ability to reproduce.
Nudity doesn’t faze anyone in this day and age. Since Rihanna wore the diamond/net dress, being ‘clothed’ is dirty. It’s not shocking to find many girls mimicking these trends on social media. You can be into fitness and still have clothes on (wink). You cannot stop what will appear on your newsfeed, but you can control what you endorse with the push of an icon. I thought long and hard; if I were to find that my significant other had my some means liked or commented on a girl’s photo it could lead our relationship to a halt. True, he didn’t sleep with them, but my standards for fidelity and cheesecake are very high.
6. Sergeant Scrutiny:
I don't particularly endorse whipping out your partner's phone and screening through every call or text. That's not me and I'm confident there are many like me who trust their partners blindly. However, deception is a funny thing. Not telling someone something doesn't make you right. You can casually erase the call from your Ex or the girl from the office that came in at 1:15 AM, but that doesn't mean you've done the right thing. He or she may never know, but you're not in the right in my books.
7. No-Go Zone:
Married or committed men don’t hang out in bars, pubs, or restaurants with people of the opposite sex who aren’t their partners. Period.
8. Secret, Secret Santa:
If you do have to buy someone of the opposite sex a gift (i.e., you are their Secret Santa), you should run every detail by your partner. It could be something very insignificant, but, imagine your fate when she glances at your credit card statement.
You know the girl in the gym is in to you. You see her eyeballing you from the reflection in the chrome machinery. It’s one thing to be ‘preyed’ on and teasing them but not falling through because you have a lovely Missus at home, but you had better pray that she doesn’t have any mutual friends with her or #GoodbyeB*lls.
Those are my nine reasons – do they seem unfair? Are they over the top? Here’s what I believe – If everything from technology, communication, clothing, can evolve, so can our social ideals. If you can live with less, you can rest assured that you will live a happy life. That, for me, is a p*ss weak tea.
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